"We just want to live," said Tommy Termite, chairmain of the Council of HDI and an outspoken critic of pest control.
HDI(Home Destroying Insects) is an organization that discourages people from regular pest control treatments, and condems those responsible for the so called "Master Exterminator" to remain on the loose.
"This guy has go to be stopped," said Tommy. "I have lost over 10,000 of my best drillers and chewers this week only!"
What people don't realize is that this can effect the construction market as well. Where will all the jobs go if people don't need to do extensive damage repair any more. And if you think you are safe just because you are not a termite, think again.
Other victims of this so called "Master Exterminator" include hairy spiders, ants, roaches, mice, event the king of our world, the mighty rat is no longer safe>
In an unheard of concession, insects say that they would no longer oppose "DIY" exterminators if people would just stop calling "The Master Exterminator"
Hope Mills "This is a tragedy almost beyond belief," said Mrs. Spider who now truly is a black widow. "Thank goodness I was on vacation last week or that could have been me."
Insect authorities claim that this is the most dangerous killer ever to prowl the streets of Fayetteville.
Queen Bee says "no one is safe" and goes on to say "as long as this killer is on the loose, none of us are safe."
In an unusual show of unity both fire ants and termites have joined forces for the first time ever to try to avoid certian death. So far the only successful method of survival involved severing the phone cord of the home they are infesting.
We have discovered that attacks seem to come soon after phone calls, specifically calls to this number which we are currently trying to trace: 426-1465.
If any bugs find that number has been called from your home evacuate immediately! The only insects that are safe seem to be FireAntz that wear ice skates.